Unlife Is Ruff
by JemWolf
Summary: Dipper and Mabel are having a normal day- Well, normal for Gravity Falls anyways. What could that be getting into the garbage? No shipping. (Rated K Plus because I'm paranoid. Also zombie thing.) Cover art drawn by me!
1. Twinning!

**Alright, here we are, second fanfiction, completely different fandom. Anywho, this one will be in chapters (How many, I'm not sure) And there is no shipping (For those that prefer fics with romance, I do not recommend my stories, heh… I'm not very good at romance in any way, shape, or form.) Welp, enough about me, On with the story!**

**Chapter one: Twinning!**

Dipper was studying the journal, as usual. He was chewing through his third pen when Mabel came in.

"Hey, Bro! Guess what!" she exclaimed, with a huge grin on her face and her hands behind her back.

_Oh No_, Dipper thought, "What is it, Mabel?" he asks, simultaneously curious and cautious. One never knows what Mabel is up to.

She brought her hands out to her front and showed off Waddles, who was donning a ridiculous sweater.

"I took me a few tries, but I finally knitted more sweaters to fit Waddles! (He's a bit bigger than I remembered)"

"I see…" said Dipper. _It could have been way worse. _He took a second glance at the sweater,"Wait, Mabel, what is on that sweater?" he squinted, but Mabel and Waddles were a fair distance away, so he could only make out a face. Mabel skipped up to Dipper and held Waddles closer.

"This was the one that fit, the first five came out too small." Dipper grimaced a bit as he saw the design, but quickly put on a smile so as not to hurt his sister's feelings.

"They're great, but... didn't you already make that one?." Indeed, they were wearing the sweaters with each other's faces on them.. The last time Dipper had seen them, they were tracking down a Pterodactyl.

"Yeah, but that one got torn up by dinosaurs, remember?" she said, as she set down her pig, "Besides, those ones were pink, and these are salmon."

"Okaaay. Well it's nice, your really captured... yourself," he commented, gesturing at Waddles' Mabel sweater with one hand.

"Thanks, Dip!" she exclaimed, then gasped loudly, "Maybe I should make one for you!"

"Uuh, n-no thanks Mabel, I'm not really a sweater person," he said, motioning at his vest.

"Okay, suit yourself! Let me know if you change your mind!" Mabel sang as she skipped to the door.

_I really feel like I'm the only normal one in this family._ Dipper thought as he stared at Waddles.

Suddenly, both twins froze when they heard a loud clatter. "What was that?!" Dipper asked aloud.

Mabel sighed, "It's probably just Sev'ral Timez getting into the garbage again." She headed to the door. "I'll go give them some scraps so they'll go away." With that, she left the room and headed downstairs.

Dipper watched her go, and then glanced back at the journal on his desk. He sighed and stuck it in his vest before following her out the door. After all, one never truly knows what will happen in Gravity Falls.

**Chapter one complete! Woo! Anywho, I actually have the next couple chapters written out, I just need to type them up. Please review and let me know what you loved, what you hated, what I could do to improve, etc. Thanks for reading! Next chapter should be up in a couple days. **

**See you then!**

**JemWolf**

**EDIT: Okay, edited the chapter so it fits with episode continuity now! Yay!**


	2. Here Puppy!

As Dipper walked towards the back door, he heard Mabel gasp. "Mabel?!" He ran out the door to find his sister with a huge grin on her face.

"Dipper, look!" She pointed towards an upturned garbage can. Dipper was able to see a paw and a wagging tail sticking out, as well as hear sniffing noised echoing around the metal can.

"It's a puppy!" Mabel squealed, and headed towards the can.

"Mabel, no! It could be dangerous! It's probably rabid!" _or worse,_ he thought, as he reached out his hand. Mabel turned and rolled her eyes.

"Dipper, calm down! It's just a normal old puppy dog! You're just paranoid," and she turned back to the animal in question.

"Mabel," her brother called, in a warning tone, "Since when is anything here 'normal'?" Mabel either didn't hear or didn't care. She called to the dog and made kissy noises.

The puppy froze, and then backed out of the garbage can. As they saw the puppy in full, both siblings took a few steps back. Upon seeing the twins, the canine broke into a doggy grin, with his too-long tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

"I told you," said Dipper. Mabel didn't reply.

As Dipper had suspected, this was no normal dog. Its fur was very short, and was a tan, almost green looking color. That wasn't the weird part, though. Half of the dog's right ear was missing, and there was a large wound in its right front leg. Its left side had a huge gash, displaying a couple ribs, and part of its back left leg was missing entirely, leaving only bone.

Though the wounds on the dog should have certainly been fatal, the puppy made no show of pain, or any notice that it was injured at all. Dipper noted that the dog either had no pupils, or very light ones, as it's eyes were almost white.

Dipper sighed, "Of course it's a _zombie_ dog."

**Okay, okay. I know I said it would only be a couple days, but I got a bit caught up in life, sorry. Anywho, here's the next chapter, so sorry it's short, but I'm trying to be better about updating, I promise. I won't, however, give out estimate due dates, as I obviously am not good at those. So here, enjoy this for now, and I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can!**

**See you on the flip side,**

**Jem**


	3. Zombie Spit

"Why can't it ever just be a normal dog?" Dipper said, to no one in particular. The puppy's tail was wagging again, and it started trotting towards Dipper and Mabel.

"Uuh, s-stay!" Dipper shouted. The puppy stopped and closed its mouth. Dipper blinked, "sit?" the puppy sat.

"Oh wow, it's trained!" Mabel said, "We should tell it to play dead" and then started giggling. Dipper cracked a smile, Now that the danger wasn't imminent, he wasn't quite as worried.

The puppy was still sitting patiently, head cocked to one side. The twins watched the dog for a bit to see what would happen. The puppy scratched behind its good ear for a moment before sitting still again.

"Well," Dipper started, "It doesn't seem dangerous… currently." The puppy yawned. "As long as it stays still, we should be able to get close, I guess." Mabel nodded and lifted her foot, "_But,_" Dipper emphasized, "Go slow, we don't want to frighten it into attacking or anything." Mabel nodded again, and they both walked over to the undead canine.

When it saw the twins heading over, the puppy once again broke into a doggy grin, and wagged it tail even harder. The twins knelt down in front of the dog and looked at it. Mabel reached out a hand to pet it, but as she did so, the puppy leaned toward it, mouth open. Mabel jerked her hand away and the puppy jerked his head back, mouth snapping shut in surprise.

"I don't think he was going to bit you, Mabel," Dipper said, and cautiously reached out his own hand. The puppy leaned forward again and sniffed Dipper's hand. "See, it's just sniffing m-ACK!" the puppy had jumped onto Dipper's chest, catching him unaware and knocking him over.

"Dipper!" Mabel got up and ran to her brother, who was writhing with… laughter?

"Ha ha, Mabel, it tickles!" the puppy was licking all over Dipper's face. Mabel grabbed the dog under his front legs before flipping him onto his back in the crook of her arm as if holding a baby. The dog licked Mabel's face a couple times.

"Well, if it was dangerous, you would be a zombie now, right?" Mabel asked.

"I guess so, but we should still be careful; we don't know if it could turn on us or something," Dipper was brushing himself off and wiping zombie spit off of his face. When he looked up and saw how Mabel was holding the dog, he cocked an eyebrow a chuckled.

"What?" Mabel questioned, "He likes it!" Dipper just shook his head, smiling, and walked over to his sister.

"So it's a guy?"

"Yeah, see?" Mabel said, carefully using her free hand to point at the dog's neck. Confused, Dipper looked, and saw that the puppy was wearing a red collar. "The tag says his name's Toby." Mabel told him.

Dipper checked the tag himself, and it did say Toby, buy nothing else.

"Hmm…" He flipped the tag over. Nothing there either.

"Can we keep him, Dipper? Pleeeeeeaasseee?"

"Mabel, Grunkle Stan wouldn't allow it. Especially if he knew Toby was a Zombie."

Mabel pondered the problem while rocking Toby back and forth. The puppy seemed to be falling asleep.

"I've got it!" she exclaimed, waking Toby. She set the dog down and ran inside. Toby just stood there, looking thoroughly confused. Dipper just laughed a bit at the dog's expression.

"You'll have to excuse Mabel, se gets… overly excited about things." Toby walked over to Dipper and got up onto his hind legs, before placing his front paws on Dipper's waist. Dipper flinched at first, but when he looked at the dog, there was still no malice. The dog stayed in that position, occasionally scratching the hem of Dipper's shirt. Dipper soon caught the idea and stroked the dog's head. The dog's tail began wagging. Dipper then scratched the zombie behind his good ear, and the puppy broke into a doggy grin once more. By the time Mabel came back, Toby was on his back getting belly rubs.

**Surprise! Double update today! I felt bad that I made you guys wait so long for such a short chapter, so I typed up chapter three as fast as I could! Chapter three was originally longer than this, but I felt if I added much more, it would be too long. The other stuff that was left out will be in chapter four. **

**Thanks for understanding!**

**Jem**


	4. Fiendishly Clever Disguise

**Decided I should get off my butt and actually type a new chapter. Anywho, thought I'd respond to some reviews! First off, thank all of you for reviewing, it really means a lot! Feel free to throw out more ideas, concerns, likes, dislikes, stuff you'd like to see, etc. Okay, let's respond to stuff!**

**OtisXIII/HounderpXIII: Thanks man XD Means a lot**

**StkAmbln: Oh good! I'm trying really hard to keep everyone in character! I actually scrapped an entire chapter because I felt the characters weren't right :) And really? I kinda thought I gave it away too easily XD Perhaps I'm sneaker than I thought!**

**AlecReyes20: I actually used that in the rewrite of the first chapter ;) Say yes to the Vest!**

**RockSunner: Yep! They sure can! Let's just hope things don't go south for our zombie pal, I can't imagine that having your head explode is very fun! ;P**

**Alrighty, then! On with the story!**

**(Trying to figure out spacers, here. Bear with me)**

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Mabel called. Toby rolled to his feet in a flash and ran over to Mabel. She had her hand behind her back, and an excited smile on her face. She brought her hands forward and presented a very small sweater.

_It must have been one of the ones she tried to make for Waddles. _Dipper reasoned.

The dog sniffed the sweater before tilting his head and looking at Mabel with an expression that clearly said, _You're kidding, right?_

Mabel obviously didn't get the message (or didn't care) and gently put the sweater onto Toby. After doing so, she stepped back to admire her work. The sweater was definitely big on the dog, but it got the job done.

"There," she said, "That covers most of his holes,"

"Yeah, but what about the missing half of a leg?" Dipper asked, gesturing at Toby, "That's pretty hard to miss,"

"Oh ye of little faith," Mabel said, waving a hand, and produced a couple of thick ribbons that matched the sweater. Dipper didn't understand how ribbons we're going to help until he saw what Mabel was doing. Using the ribbons as leg warmers, she carefully wrapped the ribbons around Toby's back legs, effectively hiding the bones. When she was finished, Toby looked very awkward, but significantly less like a zombie.

"Well. I guess it's worth a shot." Dipper said," I mean, he let you keep Waddles, and he's literally a pig."

Mabel nodded, "We could tell him that Toby is your pet, like Waddles is mine, or," she gasped,"We could tell him that it's Waddles in disguise," she smacked her fist into her palm,"He'll never see through it, it's too clever!"

Dipper rolled his eyes,"Or we could just, you know, _ask_," and shook his head.

"But what's the fun in that?" Mabel huffed, though she smiled as she said it.

With that, Dipper picked up Toby, and the twins headed into the shack to confront their Grunkle.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Heyyy there guys! Long time no see! Heh... I'll be frank. I have little to know excuses for why this took so long. I mean, yeah, there's school, but I usually manage to do fun stuff inbetween that. Besides, I've been sick the past couple of days, and I could've been typing that as I stayed home. Ah, well. Too late to change that now. Hope you enjoy this chapter, now I hope to be better about updating, as always.**

**Love ya!**

**JemWolf**


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